


Forehead Poke

by Katie_Madison



Series: BREAKDOWN/rebuild [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Disingenuous Fix-It - Freeform, F/F, F/M, M/M, POV First Person, Post-Canon, Sasuke Uchiha Leaves Konoha, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2019-10-06 21:12:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17352674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katie_Madison/pseuds/Katie_Madison
Summary: "Fine. Whatever. Chase after him on the basis of that FOREHEAD POKE like some kind of moron... Go be 'Uchiha Sakura.' I'm sure that if you cling to him long enough you can sham yourselves into a marriage and a child."//Althernatively, how Ino's now sure that both Sasuke and Sakura - and probably everyone else too - have lost their fucking minds.





	1. assumptions

**Author's Note:**

> Part 3 of the BREAKDOWN/rebuild series, featuring some dark and/or nihilistic themes. Although, by the end, it will be Sasuke-centric (in accordance with the focus of this entire series), this is not a Sasuke-centric chapter just yet, as it follows Ino and Sakura. It's also not as poetic and metaphorical as previous works, although there will be more of that soon in the series, it's more literal and consciously action-based. 
> 
> Please enjoy

I couldn't tell you why, but I just knew that something was strange when I saw Sakura the evening that Sasuke decided _(yet again)_ to leave the village…

I mean, I guess that evening was wrong on a lot of levels. Naruto had tried to smile at first, but then he locked himself in his apartment; complaining of a ‘headache,’ even though we all knew that Naruto could not get headaches. Kakashi sensei just kind of wandered around - keeping close to Gai sensei, but not doing any of their challenges or games, - just sitting around and quietly sipping tea like old, commiserating men. It was painful to watch, but it made sense.

Sakura, on the other hand... had looked absolutely elated...

And honestly? That was what alerted me to something being  _very off_.

"Sakura, what is going on?" I asked, grabbing her arm as she flitted about her room, pulling out all sorts of things and placing them in a large bag. "Naruto and everyone else on your team look absolutely wrecked with Sasuke heading out again, but you're... happy?"

"Mhm!" she said, nodding her head, "Because this time, I'm going to follow him."

Follow him...?

Wait.

What?

"I don't-, you mean... You're going to leave Konoha? Why? What the hell is going on?" I blurted out; hearing the words she was saying, but not understanding what they meant. Sakura had a great tenure-track lined up at the Emergency Medicine Department at Konoha General, and she had told me earlier that she was exciting to start working on a basic medical ninjutsu class for the academy with Iruka sensei. She had even asked me to write the syllabus for it!

...Or so I thought.

She smiled at me, sweetly, and continued packing; even going so far as to whistle a happy tune as she folded her clothes. "He said, 'Next time, okay?' and then poked me on the forehead before he departed, so I know it's the right thing to do!" she said, sighing blissfully at the end of her recollection.

I wondered, briefly, if I was in another genjutsu. Or if someone had possessed the girl in front of me.

"I'm sorry?... Is that supposed to be some kind of explanation, because I still don't get it!?" I asked, raising my voice a little. What sort of game was Sasuke playing at, saying some ambiguous-as-hell nonsense like that? And how did Sakura take that in stride to mean, 'Please follow me, my sweet cherry blossom princess'?

Sakura rolled her eyes at me and I felt myself getting angrier by the second, just thinking about this stupid, ridiculous conversation. I put my hands on my hips and just watched her move around for a few more minutes; trying to calm myself down and think _rationally_.

"Sakura...wai-," I tried again, this time a bit gentler, but before I could get anything else in, she leaned in and said, 'You wouldn't get it; it's a Sasuke and Sakura thing..."

Then she raised one of her thin, pink eyebrows at me, "I mean... No offense, but, you never really knew him like I did, and I am really in love with him now... We aren't equal rivals anymore, the only girl who could be with him is me..."

I felt my shoulders tighten in response, and my teeth grind together.

"You're such a fool, you know? We were never rivals in the _first_ place, Sakura... You didn't let me explain myself all those years ago, and you're not listening to me now either -  _assuming_  that I liked Sasuke based off of some random girls' gossip; girls who were always starting shit! Girls who never liked you anyways, mind you! - and now you're making the same mistake again, assuming things when you have such little basis!"

"Excuse you?!" she asked in an accusing tone, "Then why did you always hang off him in the years after? Hm?"

"Well, what other option did I have? Let you guys get close and go out?"

I looked into her eyes, lids half-lowered in skeptism over bright green irises and wondered if Sasuke could ever grow to be as struck by those eyes as I ~~am~~ -, _was_.

But then I pushed forward, "You broke our friendship off for  _nothing_ ; I was just trying to make it mean something with that gaudy flirting! Maybe if I  _forced_ myself to like him – as anything more than a sympathetic friend - than our lost friendship would mean something; would have a resolution that made sense... Instead of you just giving me back your hair ribbon and declaring us rivals over a boy when I'm  _gay_."

Now, it was her turn to gasp, "What?"

The heat rose to my face, and I could feel tears starting to form in my tear-ducts.

Even after all these damn years.

"I thought that if someone asked me what had happened; us fighting over a guy would make more sense then... the  _truth;_  that I'm actually gay, that those girls were spreading rumors that I liked Sasuke because they didn't understand why I rejected yet another guy who asked me out, and that Sakura overheard their shit and believed it instead of asking me the truth because that's all my words meant to her!"

Sakura stopped in her tracks and stared at me, wide-eyed. She reached out with her hand, trying to touch me, but I pulled away.

"But that's old news... And I have enough dignity to reject your pity-induced comforting gestures," I said, voice lower than I had ever imagined it could go. I looked into her eyes; a little bit of yellow sparkled out in flecks of contrast in her beautiful irises.

God, I must be a real masochist.

"I just wish that you had that same dignity... You don't need this guy's pity dog-bones of affection. What does a 'forehead poke' even mean? What are you, a  _child_ , that he's scolding?... I never wanted you to date me if you were straight; that's not the point. Date Lee or Naruto, or some guy who cares for you!"

But Sakura shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut. "I love Sasuke; I love him more than anything and I'm going to be his. I'm sad to hear what you said but it-,"

"Changes nothing," I finished for her. She did have the grace to at least look upset about my coldness, but I didn't react back. I jumped out on to her balcony ledge, balancing on my tiptoes, and looking out towards the sky, "Fine. Whatever. Chase after him on the basis of that  _forehead poke_  like some kind of moron."

I looked back at her, her thin arms wrapped around a dark blue coat. The color didn't suit her and it made me sad enough to want laugh absurdly. Like some kind of lunatic.

"Go be 'Uchiha Sakura.' I'm sure that if you cling to him long enough you can sham yourselves into a marriage and a  _child_."

Sakura ran forward and bared her teeth at me.

I had always loved Sakura's determination, her will to fight, but this was a meaningless display of perseverance if I had ever saw one.

"You just don't know what it means to be in love, Ino; to work  _hard_  at it," she retorted.

I rolled my eyes and headed back home.

She was probably right. I didn't know what it meant to work hard at love because I was under the assumption that love wasn't something that you  _had to work at like a damn job to pay rent._

But what do I know? Clearly the language of this 'forehead poke' was beyond me; moron! that! I! apparently! was!

I felt like fucking laughing again.

Just what kind of ridiculous conclusion to our lives was this? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the blatantly unresolved ending in this chapter. Naturally, the theme of the 'forehead poke' will re-emerge.
> 
> Thank you so much for your support. I would really appreciate if you left your thoughts, kudos, bookmarks, and subscriptions, and often use your feedback to influence my future writing. Take care.


	2. caught

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time, it's from Sasuke's perspective. 
> 
> And although at this point in your reading of this story you already know that this is going to be angsty and problematic as hell, I would like to state that I disturbed my own self from writing this.
> 
> Regardless, it was where this story needed to go.
> 
> I would be delighted if you can enjoy this in any way.

I won’t lie; when the idea first occurred to me it was almost too fucked-up to entertain without wanting to bash my head into a pile of rocks, or jump off of a damned cliff. So it’s not like I don’t know just how ethically bankrupt, blatantly disrespectful, and contemptable it is; it’s not like I look back on what I’ve done-, _~~still do, will continue to do~~ _– with a smile…

But when I’m alone, tired, so suicidal it makes my hands shake with how badly I want to reach into my pocket, pull out my sword, and just end it all; somehow the disgust wears off and I can think of fewer and fewer reasons why not to go through with it, ~~again and again and again.~~

I’m going to hell anyways, right? And that’s certainly not where Itachi is; so I’ll never have to face his horrified expression from knowing how disgusting his ‘beloved brother’ really was. is. has become.

Whatever.

The first time I went through with it was on the eigth night of my self-imposed exile, when I had stumbled onto a discreet clearing several hundred miles from Fire Country; up in the mountains beyond Kiri. Despite the foreign smell of the air and the too-high chirp of the birds, it looked just like the training grounds behind the Uchiha compound where the two of us used to practice kunai throwing…

There had been nobody and nothing around me for miles; and I could cloak the entire fucked-up thing in a genjutsu so that nobody would see even if they did somehow manage to find me.

(Although I debated what the point was of me even doing that much, because why the fuck should I care about anyone anyways? Everyone coud go fuck themselves for all I gave a shit about their self-aggrandized, narcisstic opinions.)

Well. Almost everyone.

I can admit that I still cared for Naruto’s opinions, but he was the only person alive whose opinion I did. And even that was tertiary at best; certainly not enough to stay with him in that shit-stain of a village.

Naruto was also in no condition to come after me, considering how wrecked I coud feel he was through our… bond.

So he wouldn’t know either.

As the Kirigakure sky turned red above the canopy of dense foliage around me, I sat down cross-legged beneath a tree, where I performed the shadow clone jutsu, molding just enough chakra for two clones, then the transformation jutsu, once for each clone.

Finally, I sat back and watched.  And then I watched again the day after. Then once more, a few nights after that. Until it became a disgusting, all-consuming routine. Sometimes, I would do it several times a day, or prolong one time out for hours and hours…

While, yes, I completed missions, canvassed, and all that other virtuous nonsense, it took such a little amount of my time. There was nothing to do. ~~Nothing _else_ to do, I mean. ~~

The world was at peace, and I had learned just how well everyone had internalized Naruto’s little lies. I could go back to Konoha, and the world would definitively keep turning. It was obvious that I didn’t _need_ to be here; and Naruto let me know as much in his several letters.

So I told them all it was ‘guilt’, which they accepted oh-so quickly, and served to aggravate me even more. It meant that they all could think up reasons _why_ I should be feeling guilty.

Though I _wasn’t_ guilty…

I had already 'apologized' to all of the people that I had hurt - Naruto, Sakura, Karin, whoever - admit that I was reckless about using them to meet my ends, and did feel...  _sorry_ for trying to kill all of them at various points. They hadn’t done anything worthy of being killed.

But was I guilty?

No.

Because every maniacal and suicidal thing that I had ever done had been on a journey to find justice; for my family, then for Itachi, and then as vengeance against Konoha’s _lies_.

People shouldn’t ask me if I feel ‘guilty’ without asking who _designed_ my entire life to be built on a foundation of lies, before playing fucking jenga with the pieces, and toppling down all that I thought I knew about anything.

Although I’m sure that Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi like to imagine that I have the emotional intelligence of a pile of burnt ash, and that’s why it’s ‘hard’ for me to acknowledge and communicate my emotions; ~~namely, my ‘long-seated desire’ to be embraced by Konoha, my supposed home, and Sakura, my supposed girlfriend~~ , that’s all a lie. ~~~~

Because I know what I am, and I know what I feel, and it’s not _guilt_.

 ~~It’s paralytic isolation~~.

It’s the understanding that no matter what I do, I will be alone in carrying the knowledge of what was done to me and my family.

Tsunade, Kakashi, and the Konoha elders had said as much.

_“You’re free to go where you will and do what you want, Sasuke, but that’s predicated on your acknowledgment of the fact that the Uchiha massacre was a highly covert operation and must be maintained as such. It has the potential to dismantle every other ninja and civilians’ faith in our governance if revealed to the public… You can never reveal it. If you even try, we will revoke our pardon and use the full force of Konoha’s power to take you down…”_

But it didn’t matter.

Reveaing the truth about the Uchiha Massacre wouldn’t allow me to go back in time and right the wrongs that were enacted against me and my family.

Who would listen to such a ridiculous tale anyways? Itachi had acted his part far too well for it to look like a performance, perfectionist that my brother always was...

“ _No matter what you choose from here on out, just know that I will always love you.”_

Itachi nii-san...

But what if there were no choices left to make? What if there was no point moving forward because there was nothing there for me in the future?

I sighed and looked up at the two clones before me to distract myself ~~from my thoughts, my existence~~.

“Sasuke! That was perfectly executed!” a ten-year-old Itachi-clone praised as a tiny five-year-old Sasuke-clone straightened up from where he had just completed a series of backflips across the grass.

The tiny Sasuke grinned broadly and ran into the outstretched arms of his big brother, tackling him down with the force of his exuberant hug.

“Oomph! Be careful Sasuke, don’t hurt yourself!” Itachi laughed, but his voice came out far too light and fond to be a real reprimand.

“Sorry,” the tiny Sasuke apologized anyways, wrapping his arms around his brother’s neck and rolling them over so that Itachi hovered above him.

“Will you still give me my reward?” he asked nervously, biting his lower lip.

Itachi smiled and leant down, gently pushing the bangs off of Sasuke’s forehead with his left hand, and angling his chin with his right. “Of course…” he said softly, bumping their foreheads together for a long moment, and then shifting to the left, perfectly slotting his lips over Sasuke’s own.

I grew hard in my trousers watching the boys before me.

Slowly, Itachi shifted upright and out of the embrace, but Sasuke whined and tried to pull him down, clinging to his neck.

“Nii-san… You said… I was perfect, right? An-and since you rarely have time to train with me, i-it’s only fair that…  you give me another reward,” he mumbled, words slurred together in his mouth as a string of saliva dripped down his chin.

“I didn’t raise you to be so greedy, otouto…” Itachi chastised, but his fingers had come up to trace the curve of Sasuke’s lips all the same.

As I reached my hand down to grip my erection, masturbating to the cute sounds that the boys before me made, kissing and licking at each other so sweetly, I wondered if Itachi really _would_ always love me, or if his words were just platitudes to offer me in what he knew would be a lonely existence.

At the very least, I’m sure he didn’t have any idea how far I would test the ‘limits’ of his unconditional love.

It doesn't matter though.

He can't push me away even _if_ he believed that I had gone too far, and wanted to. 

It's why I make sure these scenes never include his insane forehead poke; replacing it with the way he pressed his forehead against my own on our last night together...

Itachi will love me no matter what I do, no matter how much he might wish he didn't. Even if he wanted to, _it's not his choice anymore, it's mine,_ even if he wanted to hate me for being disgusting, he can’t say it to my face – will never be able to do or say anything again.

All that exists of Itachi in me, in my control - to do with as I please.

“Sasuke, I wish you could look at yourself… I never thought my cute and pure otouto could make such… an erotic expression.”

At last, I’ve caught the infallible Uchiha Itachi.

And he's  _mine._

_For the rest of my fucking life._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Sasuke, I'm so sorry. But I like you too much to see you lie to yourself that everything is okay the way things are... 
> 
> If this work intrigued you in any way, please consider leaving a kudos, comment, or bookmark, and do consider checking out works in the rest of the series. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, and take care. ♡


	3. lucky in love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone. This time, the chapter switches back to Ino's perspective as she talks about the developments that are occurring in Konoha and her life sometime during the time-skip when Sakura is out following Sasuke outside the village and everyone else is at home. Nothing too explicit this time, but instead I took the time to talk about Ino's ideas of love and grief. 
> 
> Please enjoy and thank you for venturing with me on this problematic, angst-ridden story.

There was still daylight by the time I returned home from the hospital, exhausted to my fucking core. The whole place was a chaotic wreck, and crammed tight with patients and nowhere near enough medical ninja. With Sakura out of the village to go… run after Sasuke, it was left up to me to take double shifts - back-to-back with my own clinincal psychology practice.

“Good work today, Ino. I’m so proud of how dependable you’ve become, though I always knew you would,” said mom, setting the table for dinner.

I grinned as brightly as I could; hiding the fact that my eyes stung from thinking about how my father used to say those same words to me nearly two years ago...

Since then, I had somehow turned eighteen and become the clan head.

Can you believe?

My family ~~or what was left it,~~ tucked ourselves in.

Before we started eating, however, there was a knock on the door, and when I went to go open it, I was faced with Sai. He bowed once to me before hurriedly toeing off his shoes, rushing into the dining room, and sitting down in the seat beside my mother – where I had previously been sitting.

Mom didn’t mention this to him.

As I slowly shuffled my way back, I noted that Sai’s fingers were shaking a little as he held out a scroll in front of him, as my mother leaned in close to inspect it.

“This is fantastic!” she cried, smoothening her fingers over the inked paper.

Quietly, I leaned my shoulder against a wall, hidden from view, and observed the increasingly familiar scene before me - in more ways than one…

Ever since Kakashi-sensei had mandated Yamanaka clan led therapy for all elite ninjas in Konoha, our house had become filled with various ANBU who wanted ‘after-hours’ treatment. Actually, none of my day appointments were ever booked by ninja – instead filled with civilians – through which I learned that getting elite ninja to conform to any sort of formal procedure was like trying to catch dust with a fishing net. ANBU in particular hated every element of institutionalized care.

I truly did sympathize, because it was obviously a result of how every institution in Konoha had done nothing but abuse them their whole lives…

So they had taken to visiting me, and the other Yamanaka, in our homes at odd hours of the day…

As the new leader, I had been the one to handle all preliminary examinations, and distribute the caseload based on specialty. I had given Sai’s case file over to my mother, since she excelled at emotivity-manipulation and communication techniques, which were his main issues.

Thereafter, Sai smiled at my mom, and curled a hand around her fingers - guiding them through the motions of his paintbrush strokes.

I sighed.

The thing is that Sai was a terribly abused man, and I sincerely hoped that his therapy was going well...

 _But_ , I was beginning to wonder if maybe I had hoped a little too sincerely, and if his therapy was going a little… too well.

He and my mother had been getting really close lately. While most ninjas in treatment dropped by once a month, or bi-weekly, Sai came by as often as every day… And he was definitely ‘emoting’ more and more these days.

Athough I attributed most of his improvement to my mom’s excellence as a ninja, I can't help but wonder if a little of his success should be attributed to her excellence… as a woman?

Mom said that Sai still had room to improve, since he occasionally reached for the wrong word; but I felt like his feelings were already far too perceptible and explicit. I, at least, felt like I could feel his emotions, and read his thoughts with _too much_ clarity… and weight, as they hung there heavy in the air, intertwined with his _pheromones_.

“Yamanaka-san,” Sai said gently, reaching into his bag and pulling out another scroll, “Take a look at this one too.”

The exchange of scrolls between their hands should not have been so loaded; they were just hands and scrolls, afterall; yet just observing the simple action made me feel like I was intruding on something so private. Intimate. 

I felt my heart pound in my ears.

~~It wasn’t because I was angry.~~

~~I swear.~~

Although moving on after Dad and his role in my lives – _our_ lives - has been hard, I know that he has been dead for long enough that my mom has a right to be with someone again. And I know that Sai, for all of his flaws, was a gentle soul. Dad would have approved too.

He was kind like that.

It’s just… I am protective over my mother because I know how this will turn out.

Already, there are glares from other women directed towards my mother when she steps out, whispers of her being a cougar, and pointed sneers from other ANBUs asking if they too could have my mother’s ‘daily treatment’ or if it was only for pretty, artistic boys…

Disgusting.

Part of me wanted to hypnotize them into paralytic states and stone them to death for speaking that way, but I didn’t because I knew that I was the figurehead of my entire clan now; and that meant considering them before my own selfish, violent desires.

But more than anger, to see their vehemence made me… just sad.

Life was so fucking hard already.

Was it so wrong that two people who had been through hardships found some comfort in each other? Divorced, widowed, gay, poly; couldn’t society just let people be happy when they were lucky enough to find peace?

I sighed aloud; the sounds of my voice startling Mom and Sai out of whatever… moment they were in.

“Sai, you should just marry me and join the Yamanka clan," I suddenly said, "That way people won’t keep speculating about you two, and constructing some horrible affair that distracts everyone from focusing on our therapeutic outcomes… If you do, then I’ll be able to properly take over all of my duties too, without the regressive morons in the clan complaining that I can’t lead because I’ll marry out of the Yamanaka like some… disloyal, duplicitous whore."

My mother looked ready to pass out, and Sai’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline.

Had what I said _really_ been that weird? I don’t think so. Although if they thought that they were being discrete enough that I wouldn’t be able to notice, then I was a little offended.

Or maybe it was my using the word ‘whore?’

“That’ll ruin your own love life!” cried Mom.

I know it was rude and uncalled for, but I had to laugh in response.

 _My_ love life?

What a hilarious joke.

“Anyways,” I said, trying to change the topic and suppressing the urge to roll my eyes, “I need to go over to Naruto’s house,” I paused, “…And I’ll probably spend the night there, but whatever. Lock the doors.”

My mom looked flustered, but she had enough sense to raise an eyebrow.

“I see,” she said in a too-even voice, “Naruto’s house?” Sai looked a little shocked too.

I started laughing again. We’d make a nice enough looking couple, if both of us weren’t already in love.

“Naruto’s house,” I reaffirmed, before heading out the door, “We’re going to go visit Sasuke and Sakura. How fun…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Katie; I thought that you like Ino, so why are you putting her through this literal hell?  
> Katie: I do like Ino! But by giving her some semblance of agency in this story, she has no other option but to suffer in this canon-compliant hellhole. I think that if I wrote her happy in this mess, then that would be the real sign that I hated her...
> 
> Ahem. Anyways, that's how I justified to myself why this chapter, and indeed this whole story, is just an enormous tale of everyone suffering miserably. Please wait for the end though, I've written a rough draft of the last chapter and I think that you will all hate-love very much. 
> 
> Thank you for all your support thus far. Please consider supporting me from here on out with a kudos, subscription, bookmark and/or especially a comment! Take care~


	4. compromise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back into Sasuke's perspective after far too long. I have switched the order of this chapter with the previous one for a more consistent style. It won't make too much difference in the grand scheme of things.
> 
> Everything is still going to be fucked up. 
> 
> Fair warning for criticisms of Sakura, but also, SasuSaku content. ItaSasu too. 
> 
> Please enjoy.

I had ignored Sakura and her simpering little calls for me for as long as I could, until that stupid cunt started causing _such_ a fucking scene - screaming herself red in the middle of village squares and farmer's markets that her love for me was sooooooooo strong that she would follow me forever and keep confessing and confessing and confessing until I let her be mine.

She seemed to think that I was some kind of a lifeless boulder that was too obstinate to hear her words, and recognize her feelings as _authentic;_ that all she needed to do was say it enough, until I finally acknowledged her.

So let me make myself clear; 

Me not knowing what her feelings were, was never the fucking problem. I had known of her crush on me for my entire life, and I _thought_ that I had made it amply clear that I wasn’t fucking interested. For all her book smarts, and ninjutsu skills, Sakura had the social intelligence of a pile of cracked eggshells. She thought that if she just _said that she loved me_ enough times, I would love her back.

Right. I must have missed that lesson in love. Who knew it was the sort of thing you could just browbeat into someone? 

Regardless, I allowed her to stay with me just to avoid the fucking attention.

But of course, that wasn’t enough.

Why would it have been enough?

Her fantasy of whatever sort of man I was wouldn't be complete without me unrestrainedly fucking her into sexual ecstasy. 

 _Delusional_. 

So we booked ourselves into a hotel for a night. One bed.

I'll admit... I was feeling frustrated as all hell because since Sakura had subjected me to her presence, I hadn’t had the space or time to… _call_ Itachi, to feel the relief I felt when I saw the gentle smile of his childlike face, the soft, half-lidded look on his face when he had a tiny Sasuke nuzzled into his neck, a little poetry scroll propped open over his little knee…

I missed him so much it made my throat clench and my palms throb. I was getting so desperate that in the time that Sakura was in the washroom, I seriously debated whether or not I could just-,

-Which is when she came out, of course.

“Sasuke-kun, please make love to me. I want you so badly. I’ve waited so long for you because I want you so much, but you… don’t have to hold yourself back anymore! I’m ready to be your woman, be Ms. Sasuke Uchiha, in every way,” she pleaded, in her softest, most highest-pitched, feminine voice.

I almost laughed.

Holding myself back?

I could tell that Sakura had taken the time to make herself look nice, and objectively, I guess she did. She had applied some make-up, something to make her eyes darker and more defined, her lips more glossy and fuller, and her hair more voluminous. She was wearing a pink silk housecoat with cherry blossom prints, and lacy lingerie. Her breasts looked more pushed up and bigger, and her skin was all smooth and hairless.

She kept nervously rubbing her legs together and biting her lips, alternating between staring at her own two feet, and momentarily meeting my eyes.

I honestly couldn’t say what expression I was wearing to make her so nervous, but she started moaning and panting, “I’m so… wet for you, Sasuke-kun, fantasized about this forever… I-, We can do anything… you want, so…”

I was just about to roll my eyes and beckon her over, when suddenly I just couldn't.

I felt the words I had always thought... Force themselves out of me, no chance of holding them back.

“ _Why do you even love me_?” I asked bluntly, more honestly than I had ever been with her.

She startled, and blushed pink, “I love you more than anything! I have never wanted anything more than I have wanted you! You’re everything to me! I would give anything-,”

“-I said _why_ not _how_ much,” I interrupted her monologue, which I had heard so many times before.

“…Huh? I-I, I can’t help it! I’ve just loved and loved and loved you throughout everything, and never stopped even though I tried, because my feelings for you are so strong and so integral to everything I am. I-, I never stop thinking about you, and-,”

“What am I? Speaking Latin? What part of _why_ don’t you-,”

“ **Sasuke _._** ”

I froze, vaguely registering Sakura continuing on her speal about loving me with even more zeal than before, but with all of my attention focused in on the disappointed looking ten year old boy who had just spoken from beside her, and was now shaking his head at me, the outline of his form half-translucent.

“ **Don’t be cruel,”** he said with sad eyes - looking up at me, and then Sakura, still crying and blithering about how she needed me and loved me in a way that was so much stronger than anything she had ever loved in her entire life, even more than her own family, “ **When you know that she can’t give you an answer based on anything more tangible than your looks and happier times when you all were genin**.”

_Happier times? When? As I was getting my ass handed to me by Haku? Gaara? Or the times I spent startling myself awake with nightmares about you killing me?_

I realized that I wasn’t speaking out loud, that those words were said in my head, because Sakura hadn’t stopped talking.

But it didn’t seem to matter, the boy responded all the same.

“ **Yes… But she doesn’t know that though, does she? She only saw the moments when you saved her, the acknowledgements you gave her, that time you said sorry to her after your fight with Naruto-kun, the poke on her forehead as signs that you loved her too…** ”

What the fuck was he talking about?!

_Why are you defending her? She was always pathetically grasping at straws that she could interpret as affection... Even though I have never been anything but straight with her, or anyone else._

_And what are you trying to make me do? Feel bad for her and fuck her? I… What even are you? I didn’t summon you - least of all to give me this shit!_

_And you_ yourself _told me that you used that stupid fucking poke to symbolize keeping me away - and that you were wrong to do so! It was never an act of love, it was you deliberately keeping me in the dark; though at least you did so to stop me from getting killed!_

Itachi shrugged, " **Why poke her at all then?** "

That time I really did snort in a laugh. 

 _To keep her quiet without making myself cringe by initiating any more physical contact between us? To REALLY keep her away? To satisfy our new Hokage, Kakashi, breathing down my neck to_ breed _her like he never got the chance?_

_Disgusting old pervert._

As I thought that, however, I could feel my own eyes run over his slender form; his thin arms folded before him, dressed in a dark blue, loosely tied yukata. 

Could feel myself growing hard. 

~~_Perhaps I shouldn't blame Kakashi when I'm not far behind._ ~~

He gave me a chastising smile, but deliberately let the collar of his garment gently slip down his shoulder, “ **I don’t want… whatever fleeting moments you create with me, and our past... to isolate you... I will always be here, yes, but I'm... dead, and Sakura-san here _does_ love you, in atleast some way, for whatever reason… Be with her,  then y** **ou’ll have ties with Konoha, even a child.** ”

_Please. By that logic, why not marry Naruto?_

He laughed, and I felt myself subconsciously smile from how fond I was of his expression - sweet and lovely, with his eyes crinkled and his hand covering his grin, “ **Yes, I guess maybe with Naruto-kun’s jutsu, you could… have kids? But will you make him forgo his dreams of being Hokage? No one would approve a Hokage in a homosexual relationship** **… and the stigma of turning Konoha's Saviour gay would be immense... You don’t hate Sakura, right? The thought of a warm bed waiting for you whenever you go back to Konoha, can’t be that bad, right?** ”

_Maybe. Though that doesn’t change the fact that Sakura doesn’t even know why the fuck she wants me so much. What kind of love is that?_

Itachi rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in the air; and I realized that I had never actually seen him look so at his wits’ end. His dark eyes were troubled, and he was frowning so hard his nose scrunch up.

~~How gross am I that my first thought upon seeing his expression is how cute he looked? The way he'd blush if I came there and kissed his nose?~~

“ **Can’t you see that she’ll follow you until you comply? And she has curried more favor than you; people will think poorly of you if you shun her – a traitorous Uchiha rejecting a kindhearted medic! And-, And she’s so... _desperate_ for you, just look at her! All you need to do is… have sex with her, have even just one kid, and she'll stay in Konoha, proud of herself for having made you hers at last! Then… you can do whatever you want! Leave! Travel the world!**”

I finally met Sakura’s eyes, her face covered in tears that had even dripped down onto her robe.

" **Please. For me?** "

I spoke.

“Lay down.”

Sakura looked as if she had been lit up from the inside, her smile threatening to split her face in two. Hurriedly, she spread herself out on the futon and parted her legs, wriggling and biting her lips. 

I tried not to vomit. 

_You'll have to help me._

He looked momentarily shocked, but then he nodded and moved to stand beside me, balancing his chin on my shoulder, and wrapping his arms around my neck.

His touch felt so real; his skin warm and firm, but soft, as I'd always remembered. 

“ **Of course, my beloved Otouto.** ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is Itachi in this chapter?  
> A spirit?  
> A hallucination?  
> A subliminally-cast genjutsu Sasuke created in his frustration?  
> And why is he saying what he's saying? 
> 
> If you found this interesting, please consider leaving me a kudos, a bookmark, a subscription, or a comment with your thoughts. As always, take care.


	5. +((regret))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for coming on this journey with me! Please think of this chapter as kind of an extra chapter? It's not really relevant to the rest of the plot in the same way that the rest of the story is - but I thought it would be interesting to write Ino's thoughts on the larger Naruto world. 
> 
> Please enjoy.

Naruto still lived in a shitty apartment. Thank God it wasn’t the same apartment that he had lived in as a kid.

But it was still shitty.

“Open up,” I called, banging on his shitty front door for the umpteenth time, “I may not be Sakura but so help me I will kick this cheap, 200 yen, plywood door down if you don’t get here in the next five seconds.”

Naruto emerged with none of the usual energy that he was supposedly known for, “I’m here,” he croaked at long last, wearing a stained black t-shirt and a pair of dark green cargo shorts; made all the more sad for how non-Orange, and non-Naruto-like he looked. He looked like trash and I told him so with no reservations.

“Wow. Okay. Didn’t realize you came here to bash on my appearance,” he said, sticking his tongue out, but also pulling back the door to let me in.

“Gotta maintain the illusion of aesthetic perfection. That’s how you fool them into thinking you’re still alive inside,” I stated offhand, eyes already roving over the disastrously messy apartment.

I was secretly a little pleased at getting Naruto to do something as frivolous as stick his tongue out; since that light-hearted cuteness suited him.

Or atleast, _I_ thought it suited him; clearly, Naruto’s brand of cuteness had not appealed to Sakura’s taste. ~~Nor did mine, I guess.~~

I sighed and made the seal to perform the shadow clone jutsu, but Naruto waved me away, doing it  himself, and instructing his equally dead-looking shadow clones to clean up the place as he went to go boil some water for chamomile tea, which is basically all he drank these days – not even really having the energy to walk down to Ichiraku and get  ramen.

Ayame had been one of the civilians who started seeing me for therapy, and she had told me that she missed Naruto badly, and that even when he was physically there, a huge part of him wasn’t.

I had been tempted to ask if the part of him that was missing was distinctly Sasuke-shaped, or to a lesser extent, Sakura-shaped; but the other girl had been crying so much that I bit my tongue and focused on talking her through her own experiences.

“Well then,” I said, shrugging my coat off and taking a mug of tea from Naruto’s outstretched arms, “I got the details of where Sasuke and Sakura are from Karin, further corroborated by your and Sasuke’s Profound Bond to pinpoint us even more…  And since I’ve been in Sakura’s head before, I should be able to mind-walk the both of us into her from within a few kilometers… Sasuke will be with her, if Karin is right, so then I should be able to get us both in him too…”

Naruto rubbed a hand over his face, his other one clutching hard around his own chipped mug full of burning hot tea.

“Right… You’re going to have the both of us… penetrate his mind, so that I can speak to him… in his subconscious…?”

“I could comment endlessly on your choice of the word penetrate,” I said, rolling my eyes, “But essentially yes… You’ll be able to perceive perfectly fine outside of any body as a projection of your mind’s five senses, but nobody else will be able to sense you, and you won’t be able to communicate… So unless you want to just stalk Sasuke, we’re going to have to enter his mind to be able to interact with him and ground our souls in his physical body first…”

“Are you sure this will be okay?” Naruto asked, narrowing his eyes at me, “How long will you even be able to hold your jutsu?”

I scoffed, “Despite my numerous demonstrations to you of my power, and the unprecedented feat I pulled off during the War, how like you to solely remember how badly I did in the fight you first saw me in against Sakura – _even after_ I told you that I would have been able to take her out if I hadn’t loved her…”

Naruto sighed and drank down his tea, even though it was still steaming and he winced the entire time, “Do you know that sometime during those first post-war days… when he was still here...with me...” he said, rasping the words out like had just burned half of his throat, “Sasuke told me the same thing…? Told me that if he hadn’t loved me, he could have finished me off at the Valley of the End…”

I sighed again, wondering why it seemed like I spent the last year sighing.

“Tell me something I don't know… Let’s just get this over with it,” I intoned, “You remember how to release? Unfortunately, that’s the one thing I won’t be able to do for you once I take you out of your body.”

Naruto raised an eyebrow, easily making the seal, and forming his chakra correctly, “Yeah. Of course… Now who’s the one underestimating the other?”

I smiled despite myself, “Yeah, but I was a class topper, and you barely scraped by…”

As Naruto blushed and pouted through a childish rebuttal, not the first time in my life, I… found myself filled with a sense of regret…

I can admit my flawed behavior to myself now, after all these years, but it isn’t easy, since I spent so much time trying very hard not to ask myself the question that hounded me in the back of my mind;

_Yamanaka Ino, girl who prides herself on cultivating others into the most beautiful of flowers, why were you so late to extend a hand of friendship to this most brilliant of sunlit daffodils?_

Because... Well, it’s not like I never knew that Naruto needed help...Though ignorance was a sin in its own damn right, it was never mine, and some time around when I had noticed Sakura being bullied… I had noticed Naruto’s suffering too. Back then, I had ignored him, just like my father had told me, warning me that he was bad news, just as everyone else warned their kids…

It feels like a betrayal to even think it, but dad (and indeed Nara-ojisan, and Akimichi-ojisan too) werewrong about Naruto, and someone - literally _anyone -_ should have broken whatever fucked-up protocol that existed to keep him alone… and just brought him into their home.

~~I should have brought him home.~~

“Naruto, you know that I’m just kidding, and that I really think you’re a capable kid.”

The young man before me blushed harder, this time looking slightly away – still unused to the praise. (Well, unused to real, genuine praise; not whatever nonsense the girls circling the Ikemen of the Day threw at him.)

“Don’t call me a kid when you’re the same age as me…” he shot back, but his tone was soft.

“Nahh, I turned several weeks ago, unlike you, who’s gotta wait a few more hours before you can drink,” I responded, just for the fun of irritating him.

“Oh shit, I forgot that you’re a September birthday!” he cried, and then yelped again, “Wait, it’s already October 9th?”

“Yeah~ So for our combined birthday present,” I said, rolling my eyes, “How about we just fucking get this over with as soon as possible so we can go get smashed on the strongest sake known to man, jinchuuriki, and whatever the fuck Hidan and Kakuzu were.”

Naruto looked considering,

“…Will we have ramen at some point?”

“Yes. If… I can spike the ramen with sake.”

“I don’t think Teuchi-ojiisan will agree to that, but I will…”

A few moments later, I had shot out of my body and into Naruto’s; and after spiritually grabbing his hand, we began floating away from Naruto’s apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some background, I'm writing another story called Do Not Underestimate Us (link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16492592/chapters/38625611) that's aiming to be a best reading of Naruto if all the girls had been developed better and had more consistent values. In doing so, I just couldn't help but come to the realization that Ino MUST regret ignoring Naruto, because it goes against what her beliefs were. Thus, I badly wanted to write this kind of interaction between them before they mind-float (lol) their way to Sasuke & Sakura.
> 
> As well, I think that at some point, both her and Naruto had unrequited feelings for Sakura, which I think is an interesting dynamic to explore well too.
> 
> If you enjoyed, please consider leaving me a kudos, bookmark, subscription - or most elusively, a comment with your thoughts.


	6. lifeless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Debating hiking the rating up officially to an E. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. 
> 
> If you've come this far, I can only imagine that your ready for the shitstorm that's in store. 
> 
> I tried my hand at a little bit of humour (I know right) in the beginning, because I have really enjoyed the vibe between Ino and Naruto in this sick fic, and wanted to indulge in that a little.
> 
> Naturally, the rest is all a painful mess.
> 
> Please enjoy.
> 
> Also, this is in Ino's POV again.

So it ended up taking us something close to six hours to finally make it towards where Sakura and Sasuke were. Naruto complained about the long wait, but I kept scolding him that although I  _alone_ could have traveled faster, psychically having to lug his overly-burdened and therefore ridiculously heavy soul across the Fire Country sky was no easy feat.

The sky eventually turned bled into the oranges and reds of a setting sky when I was almost exhausted enough to just... release my jutsu and get pulled back into my body to  _rest already_ when a small abode appeared in the distance. It was well protected and had traces of several genjutsus camouflaging it thoroughly, but I could recognize familiar chakra signatures inside.

“Woah, what the hell,” Naruto said in an awespired voice, “How can we even see that? I’m certainly not releasing anything… And I’m shit at genjutsu anyways…”

“Well,” I explained, brimming with clan pride, “Genjutsu work on sensory perceptions tied to your neurology, but by having left our bodies behind, we have left our neurology behind, existing only as projections of a snapshot of the exact moment of the souls that inhibited our bodies at the time of casting the jutsu, which means that genjutsu, and indeed ninjutsu or any other jutsu, won’t work on us now.”

“I don’t really get it, but...,” Naruto grinned, “Then we’re basically invincible now?”

“Yes, in the sense that if Sasuke and Sakura decide they want to hurt us now, they wouldn’t be able to through super-powered fists or ultra-powered sharingan or whatever… But if some jutsu-less villager with a rusty kitchen knife decides to go stab our real bodies, we’d cease to exist.”

“Okay, Less cool,” Naruto flinched, looking back over his shoulder, as though he could somehow see the vulnerable bodies we had left behind.

“That’s alright, I told Shikamaru to check in on us the minute we left and stay until we returned.”

“Oh,” Naruto said, still sounding troubled, “Did you…tell him about what we were doing?”

I wanted to sigh again, but alas, had no body to sigh with.

“Why do you think I made him wait till we had already left?” 

* * *

We eventually floated through the building, landing abruptly before the bedroom door, where we could make out... Well, we could make out the unmistakable sounds of people having sex.

“Uhm,” Naruto began, his spiritual energy vibrating with discomfort and tension, “Is it too late… to do this another time…?”

I didn’t say anything, but held his soul tighter in place beside my own and passed through the final door separating us from Sasuke and Sakura.

Naruto kept trying to sink through the floors but I wouldn’t let him, and eventually I guess the cold apathy of my resolution to fucking  _get this over with already_ flooded Naruto’s senses, so he too became resigned enough to turn to observe his two former teammates.

I could feel his energy change into one of sullen... Nihilism. His psyche had a natural propensity to action and progress; which only made it feel so incredibly unnerving to stand beside this version of Naruto's spirit, radiating such dark non-energy - so far from what Naruto  _should be._

“Holy fucking shit,” he blurted out at long last, “I’m going to be sick.”

I still didn't say anything, but I knew what he was feeling. 

Afterall, I too was _disgusted_.

Before us, Sasuke had laid out Sakura on her knees, her face pressed down into the pillow before her. Both of her arms were pulled across her back, held tightly in-place by Sasuke’s hand, wrapped so hard around her flesh that her pale skin bruised a raw red under his force. Her knees were pressed far apart, so far that one of her knees had slipped off the futon entirely and looked just as red as her arms from being banged into the floor over and over again. Her ass was positioned uncomfortably high in the air and Sasuke was fucking into her pussy from the back so hard that it appeared like he was trying to completely break her instead of pleasure her. His cock was wet and pulsating when he pulled it out of her, only to ram it back into her with such force that his balls slapped against her skin and Sakura’s hips flinched with every thrust.

Sasuke was still almost completely clothed, his shirt still on, and pants only unfastened and slid down his hips. Sakura wore a cherry-blossom printed bathrobe (one that I blandly remembered having purchased for her a few years ago) though it looked ripped and worn from where careless hands had pulled it too forcefully.

_(“Wow! It’s Indian silk, Sakura,” Tenten had said in awe when Sakura had unwrapped the robe from my gift box at the fancy restaurant I had reserved for her birthday, “It’s super pretty and feels great on your skin, but the embroidery is delicate so take good care of it if you want it to last!”)_

Sakura was moaning hard enough that her throat sounded dry and rough, and when she had the strength to lift up her head under the pressure of Sasuke’s ruthless fucking, it was only to breathe out his name in a garbled tone, her mouth dripping with saliva, running down her chin, mingling with tears pouring hot from her eyes; before the pressure was too much, or Sasuke switched his angle, forcing her head back down into the sopping wet pillow to cry and moan some more.

Sasuke himself was almost completely silent, breathing hard and gritting his teeth with his eyebrows narrowed in an unreadable expression. Every so often he would look down at his dick, pounding into Sakura and make a small, irritated sound, before his eyes darted up and he stared inscrutably hard at the wall before him.

For some reason completely unfathomable to me, and I'm guessing Naruto too based on his bewildered look, doing so caused Sasuke's expression to relax slightly – even edging on something resembling fond or... loving-  that would cause him to pick his pace up. However, just as soon as Sakura _called his fucking name,_ he would soon look irritated again... and the cycle would continue.

Naruto's 'Holy Fucking Shit' was damn right; what the hell was this? This completely lifeless fucking would have been concerning between two complete strangers, let alone two people in love... 

After several minutes of this... _activity -_ I don't even want to call it sex - Sakura let out a bigger moan than usual and pressed her hips back into Sasuke, meeting his thrusts.

“Close, close, Sasuke, mhhmm, more, you, _you_ ,” she chanted in a dazed voice, before his eyes squeezed shut and her back arched up and she… came?

Really? No clitoral stimulation? I can only imagine that she faked it. 

Sasuke looked relieved and pulled his penis out, heedless of Sakura’s pleas for him to _please_ _cum inside her and fill her up with his babies_ , and masturbated at some length before cumming all over her back – his semen staining the thin fabric of her robe.

Ruining it.

“Next time…” Sasuke said at last, as Sakura collapsed onto the bed, rubbing weakly at her arms. “We can fuck anal too.”

At that, Sakura gave Sasuke a big, stupid, _genuine_ smile, “Anything you want, anything for you, _Sasuke-kun,”_ before promptly passing out.

I felt like laughing or screaming; maybe both, “Is this guy for real? Does he have any idea how to pleasure a woman? How to be a generous lover?!”

“… It… It didn’t even look like he cared,” Naruto said in a small tone, “That was the most soulless fucking I’ve ever seen… I… I kind of don’t even want to look at him… I- _I, myself,_ feel used and broken just looking at that… to think that Sakura just accepted it... When-Whenever we used to do it, it would be from the front, or somebody riding the other, or with lots of kisses and affectionate words! That was so… _sad_ and-and-, like, it was just _motions..._  Nothing like making love...”

Sasuke perfunctorily shook out his arm and left the room, stripping as he went into the washroom. We followed as he closed the door tight behind him, and cast a few more genjutsus around the small space of the bathroom, before his expression morphed into one of relief.

 _Relief_?

We both looked at each other in confusion.

“What… What’s he going to do, _now?_ ” Naruto asked with an energy that told me that he _really_ didn’t want to know the answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this chapter and coming on the tumultous ride that has been this story, with me. Please share your kudos, thoughts, add bookmarks and subscribe to support the story, and stay tuned for what is to come. I appreciate you all so much. ♡
> 
> P. S. Decided to clean up all of Guardian of Dicks's comments so the comment number drastically reduced lmaooo. 70s to 40s. I'm so popular lol.


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